27 lessons from a guy that just turned 27
A new tradition is born
Some of the lessons are cliches, but that does not make them less true. Life lessons are often reminders of things we already know, but we tend to forget.
Without further ado, here are my 27 lessons.
1. Relax, just relax
Looking back I want to give myself the following advice: please, relax a little bit more. I regret all the moments I responded agitated. I regret the moments I worried about things that in retrospect did not matter at all.
Relax, just relax, it will all be fine.
2. Define what success means to you
There were a lot of things I thought I wanted. I worried if I would get a promotion. I worried if I was muscular enough. I worried about now having my own house. I worried about a lot of things that society makes you believe you need.
Instead, create your own definition of success.
3. Do not try to fit in
For years I actively tried to be liked or approved. In relationships, with friends and at work. It will only make you unhappy and insecure.
You only need the approval of one person, you only need the approval of yourself.
4. You need to speak to be heard
In order to connect with and attract other like-minded people, you need to share and express who you are. You need to be able to be found.
5. Some people simply do not like peaches
I too often hide or remained silent because I was worried about what other people would think of me.
In reality, not everyone will like you, some will not understand you or even laugh at you. No matter what you do or who you are.
You might be the sweetest peach on the tree, but some just do not like peaches.
6. Focus on your internal scorecard
This advice of Ryan Holiday helped massively with all the items above. The external scorecard includes the number of likes on your latest post, the pay raise and the feedback of the people around you.
The internal scorecard asks just one question: “Did you try to do the right thing?”
Do not focus on your external scorecard, focus on your internal scorecard instead.
7. Do not say maybe when you really want to say no
Too often I agreed on tasks or opinions to please others, to boost my own ego or to fit in. Be clear, to others and to yourself. And say no more often.
8. Life is short
This pandemic showed it again, life is short. Some people passed away completely unexpected. Do not waste your time on living someone else’s life and start living your own.
9. Health is your number one priority
The rest pales in comparison. In the past, too often I laid in bed with a hangover, skipped a night of sleep or neglected my workouts. Not anymore. Health is my number one priority.
10. Enjoy the jumping deer
I was too often obsessed with bucket lists and plans to travel the world. Unnecessary. Thanks to Covid I discovered a deer park close by, with recently 9 newborn calves, continuously joyful jumping around.
Start looking for poetry in ordinary things. And enjoy the jumping deer.
11. Do not try to change imperfect moments
Too often I did not let myself fully enjoy things, disturbed by thoughts about how it could even be better or improved. Now, I wish I enjoyed everything as it was, the imperfection made it perfect.
12. Subtracting is the first step
Too often I focused on the elements I want to add to my life. But this can be extremely hard to figure out. It is way easier to assess your current life and delete all the elements that are not fitting you anymore.
By doing that, you will magically end up with the few things that fit you best. Next, start doing those things more often.
13. Is this essential?
Do things that matter and there are actually only a few things that do.
14. Ask yourself better questions
There are so many questions I should have asked myself more often.
“Why am I doing this?” / “How could this be easy?” / “Does this matter 10 years from now?” / “What am I not seeing?” / “What would I do if I had 20% more confidence?” / “What advice would an older me give me?”
Start asking yourself better questions more often.
15. Ask for help
It was and still is tempting to believe that I have to figure it out all by myself. Believing that others are too important or too busy to help me.
A lot of my problems and struggles in the past could have been easily resolved, by just asking for help earlier.
16. Two ears, one mouth for a reason
I love to give advice and have vivid discussions. But I speak too much.
You already do know your own views and arguments. Meaning, you can only learn by listening. You have two ears for a reason.
17. Be kind
You simply don’t know what others are going through. So be kind.
18. Never leave the house during a fight
Always split on good terms. With family, friends, your spouse, your manager and colleagues. You do not know what is going to happen next, to you or to them.
Never leave the house during a fight.
19. We are all the same
We all want the same things in life. A combination of belonging, love, some importance, joy, growth, certainty, freedom and adventure. We just have different strategies to achieve it.
20. Seeking comfort is a waste of time
I tried too often and too hard to reduce my struggles and seek comfort. I wanted to limit all my struggles and fears. Very naive.
Life is and will always be unfair. There is no way to escape from it. You can’t have sun every day, learn how to dance in the rain.
21. Choose your struggles
Yes, you can choose your struggles. Some things are not worth your time and others are. Choose the struggles that are worth fighting for.
22. You are what you do on a daily basis
If you want to become a writer, simply start writing. Start writing every single day, share it and learn from it. You are the product of your habits.
23. Just take one small step forward
Too often I got paralyzed by my own big plans for the far future. Dreams about moving abroad, starting a company or overcoming fears.
Instead, all you have to do is taking one small step per day. One small step in the right direction.
24. Sometimes you have to jump
I too often wanted to be prepared, limit the risks and be fully in control before I would take the next step. However, being ready is an illusion, you will never be.
Sometimes you just have to jump in and learn how to swim along the way.
25. There are no limits
This is one of my favourite ones. Too often I didn't pursue something because I simply believed it was not for me. Because I doubted my own capabilities.
But what if? What if you are wrong? What if you can be the first? What if you can dazzle yourself? What if you can become the person you always dreamed of?
I believe there are really no limits.
26. If you don’t make someone’s life better, you are wasting your time
Quote by Will Smith.
27. Be humble
In retrospect, I am just amazed by how certain I could be of statements I disagree with now. If I learned one thing last year it is that I don’t know a single thing for sure.
Stay open to learn new things, meet new people and change your opinion. Be humble. Always.
